How Alimony Works and What Happens During Divorce

What alimony is and how it gets decided

Alimony is a court-ordered payment from one spouse to the other during or after divorce. It is not automatic — a judge decides whether one spouse owes it based on factors like how long you were married, each person's income, and whether one spouse gave up work or education to support the family. The person receiving it is called the recipient or payee; the person paying is the obligor or payor.

The court does not award alimony in every divorce. It happens when one spouse has significantly more earning power or when one spouse sacrificed income or career to support the marriage. A judge looks at the specific facts of your case — not a formula that works the same way everywhere.

How alimony gets decided depends on your state. Some states have written guidelines that judges follow; others give judges more discretion. The amount, duration, and type of alimony (temporary, rehabilitative, permanent, or reimbursement) all vary by state law and the judge's decision in your case.

Key Takeaways

• Alimony is awarded by a judge during divorce proceedings when one spouse has substantially higher earning capacity or when one spouse reduced their income to support the marriage.
• The judge considers factors like length of marriage, each spouse's income and earning potential, age, health, education, and whether one spouse supported the other's career or education.
• Alimony is not the same as child support; child support is for children, while alimony is for a spouse.
• Your state's laws determine how alimony is calculated, how long it lasts, and whether it can be changed later if circumstances shift.
• You will need a divorce attorney or mediator to present your financial situation and argue for or against alimony in your case.

The factors a judge uses to decide alimony

Judges do not use a single number or percentage. Instead, they weigh multiple factors that vary by state. Common factors include the length of the marriage, each spouse's current income and earning potential, age and health, education level, and whether one spouse stayed home or reduced work to raise children or support the other spouse's career.

The judge also looks at the standard of living during the marriage — what lifestyle you both had together — and whether one spouse has custody of children, which affects their ability to work full-time. Some states include factors like whether one spouse helped pay for the other's education or professional license.

A few states have written guidelines that tell judges how to calculate alimony, similar to child support formulas. Most states do not; judges have discretion and make decisions case by case. This means two similar divorces in the same state can result in different alimony orders depending on how the judge weighs the evidence.

Types of alimony and how long they last

Temporary alimony (also called pendente lite alimony) is paid during the divorce process, from the time one spouse files until the judge signs the final divorce order. It stops when the divorce is final.

Rehabilitative alimony is meant to help a spouse become self-supporting — typically by paying for education, job training, or living expenses while they re-enter the workforce. It has a set end date, often when the recipient finishes school or reaches a certain income level. This is common when one spouse left the workforce to raise children.

Permanent alimony continues indefinitely after the divorce is final, though it can end if the recipient remarries or either spouse dies. It is less common now than it was decades ago, and many states have limited or eliminated it. When it is awarded, it is usually in long marriages where one spouse is unlikely to become self-supporting.

Reimbursement alimony reimburses one spouse for expenses paid during the marriage — most often tuition or professional licensing costs paid while the other spouse was in school. It is not based on need; it is repayment for a specific expense.

How to request alimony in your divorce

Alimony does not happen unless someone asks for it. If you think you should receive alimony or if your spouse is asking you to pay it, you will need to raise it during divorce proceedings. This usually happens through your attorney or, if you are representing yourself, by filing the correct forms with the court.

In most states, you file a petition for alimony or include an alimony request in your initial divorce filing. You will need to provide financial documents: recent tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements, and a list of monthly expenses. These documents show the judge what each spouse earns and what they spend.

If you and your spouse agree on alimony, you can write it into a settlement agreement or marital settlement agreement and present it to the judge for approval. If you disagree, the judge will hold a hearing where both sides present evidence and arguments, then make a decision.

You do not have to go to trial. Many divorces settle through negotiation or mediation, where a neutral third party helps you and your spouse reach an agreement on alimony and other issues. Settlement is usually faster and less expensive than a trial.

What documents and information you will need

To request alimony or defend against a request, gather financial records that show your income, expenses, and assets. You will need the last two to three years of federal tax returns for both spouses, recent pay stubs (usually the last three months), and bank statements showing regular deposits and withdrawals.

Create a detailed list of your monthly expenses: housing, utilities, food, transportation, insurance, childcare, medical costs, and debt payments. If you have been out of the workforce or working part-time, gather documentation of why — such as school records if you were in school, or medical records if you have a health condition that limits work.

If one spouse paid for the other's education or professional license, collect receipts, tuition statements, or loan documents. If one spouse has a business, you may need business tax returns and financial statements. Bring documentation of any significant assets, retirement accounts, or property.

Your attorney will tell you exactly what your state requires. Different states have different discovery rules — the formal process of exchanging financial information — so the list may be longer or shorter depending on where you live.

How alimony changes after the divorce is final

Alimony orders can be changed after the divorce is final if there is a substantial change in circumstances. This means something significant has shifted since the judge made the order — not minor ups and downs in income.

Common reasons to request a change include a job loss, a major increase or decrease in income, a serious illness or disability, retirement, or a significant change in the recipient's circumstances (such as remarriage or cohabitation, which ends alimony in most states). The person asking for the change must file a motion with the court and show evidence of the change.

The process varies by state. Some states make it relatively straightforward to modify alimony; others require you to show that circumstances have changed by a certain percentage or amount. Temporary alimony automatically ends when the divorce is final. Permanent alimony can be modified or terminated by court order, and it ends automatically if the recipient remarries or either spouse dies.

If you cannot pay alimony or if your circumstances have changed, do not straightforward stop paying. Contact your attorney and file a motion to modify. Failing to pay court-ordered alimony can result in contempt of court charges, wage garnishment, or other enforcement actions.

Alimony and taxes

The tax treatment of alimony changed in 2019. For divorces finalized after December 31, 2018, alimony payments are not tax-deductible for the person paying, and the recipient does not report alimony as income on their federal tax return.

For divorces finalized before January 1, 2019, the old rules still explore: the person paying alimony can deduct it, and the recipient must report it as income. If your divorce was finalized before 2019 and you are still paying or receiving alimony, check with a tax professional about how to report it.

Child support is never deductible and is never reported as income, regardless of when your divorce was finalized. Make sure you and your attorney understand which payments are alimony and which are child support, because the tax consequences are different.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I get alimony if my spouse makes more money than I do?

Yes, if the income difference is significant and other factors support it. A judge considers not just current income but earning potential — whether you could earn more if you returned to work or finished education. If you left the workforce to raise children or support your spouse's career, that strengthens your case for alimony.

What if my spouse refuses to pay alimony ordered by the court?

The court can enforce alimony through wage garnishment (taking money directly from paychecks), seizing tax refunds, placing a lien on property, or holding the person in contempt of court. If your spouse is not paying, contact your attorney or your state's child support enforcement agency, which often handles alimony enforcement too.

Does alimony end if I remarry?

In most states, yes — permanent alimony ends automatically if the recipient remarries. Temporary and rehabilitative alimony also usually end upon remarriage. Some states also end alimony if the recipient lives with a partner in a committed relationship, though the rules vary. Check your divorce order and your state's law.

Can I get alimony if we were only married for a short time?

Short marriages rarely result in alimony, but it is possible if one spouse made a significant sacrifice. For example, if you left school or a career to support your spouse through professional training, a judge might award reimbursement alimony even in a short marriage. Length of marriage is one factor, not the only one.

Do I need an attorney to request or defend against alimony?

You can represent yourself, but alimony decisions are complex and have long-term financial consequences. An attorney can help you gather the right documents, present your financial situation clearly, and argue your case effectively. Many offer free initial consultations, and some work on sliding-scale fees based on income.