An au pair is a young person from another country who lives in your home and provides childcare in exchange for room, board, and a weekly stipend
Unlike a nanny or daycare center, an au pair is a live-in arrangement where you provide housing and meals as part of the compensation. The au pair typically works 10 to 12 hours per day, 5 or 6 days per week, though the exact schedule is something you negotiate. The weekly pocket money (called a stipend) varies by program and region but generally ranges from $150 to $200 per week. You are not hiring an employee in the traditional sense — au pairs come through licensed exchange programs that handle visa sponsorship, background checks, and insurance.
The arrangement is designed to be cultural exchange, not just childcare. Au pairs are usually between 18 and 26 years old, and many come to the United States specifically to experience American life while earning money to support themselves. You get affordable childcare; they get housing, income, and time to explore the country. The relationship works best when both sides understand this is temporary — most au pairs stay for one year, though some extend to two.
Key Takeaways
- Au pair programs are run by licensed agencies that handle visa paperwork, background checks, and insurance — you do not arrange these directly.
- You pay a program fee (typically $8,000 to $15,000 per year) plus the au pair's weekly stipend, room, and meals, making total annual cost roughly $15,000 to $25,000 depending on your region and family size.
- Au pairs can work legally in the United States only through the J-1 visa exchange program, and only certain agencies hold the authority to sponsor them.
- You must provide a private bedroom and bathroom, enroll the au pair in a cultural activity, and allow time off — these are program requirements, not optional.
- If the arrangement does not work out, the program will help you find a replacement au pair or end the relationship; you do not straightforward terminate it on your own.
How the au pair visa and program sponsorship work
Au pairs enter the United States on a J-1 visa, which is a cultural exchange visa. Only certain organizations hold the authority to sponsor J-1 visas for au pairs — these are called designated program sponsors. The major ones include Cultural Care Au Pair, AuPairCare, InterExchange, and AIFS Au Pair. When you work with one of these agencies, they handle all visa paperwork, including the DS-160 form and the I-901 SEVIS fee. You do not file these forms yourself.
The program sponsor also conducts background checks on both you and the au pair, arranges travel insurance, and provides ongoing support if problems arise. This is why there is a program fee — it covers the administrative work of visa sponsorship and the liability insurance that protects both you and the au pair. The fee is separate from what you pay the au pair directly. Different agencies charge different amounts, so it is worth comparing before you commit.
The J-1 visa comes with restrictions. The au pair can work only for the family that sponsored them; they cannot take a second job or switch families without going through the program. They must maintain full-time enrollment in a cultural activity (usually a college course or structured program) for at least 12 hours per week. These rules exist to may support the exchange is genuine, not just a work visa.
What you pay: program fees, stipend, room, and meals
The total cost of hosting an au pair breaks into four parts: the program fee, the weekly stipend, housing, and food. The program fee covers visa sponsorship, background checks, insurance, and ongoing support from the agency. This fee typically ranges from $8,000 to $15,000 per year, depending on which agency you use and whether you are a first-time host. Some agencies charge less for returning hosts.
The weekly stipend is what you pay the au pair directly for childcare work. The U.S. Department of State sets a minimum weekly stipend, which changes annually. As of recent years, the minimum is around $195 to $200 per week, though some families pay more, especially in high-cost areas like New York or California. The au pair receives this money regardless of how many hours they work that week, as long as they stay within the legal maximum of 45 hours per week.
You must also provide a private bedroom and bathroom, and cover all meals. The bedroom does not need to be large, but it must be the au pair's own space — they cannot share a room with a child or another person. Food costs are part of your household budget; you are not paying extra for the au pair's meals, but you are responsible for providing them. Some families budget an additional $50 to $100 per month for groceries to account for the extra person in the house.
Adding these together: a program fee of $10,000, a stipend of $200 per week ($10,400 per year), plus housing and food, brings the total annual cost to roughly $20,000 to $25,000. This is often less than full-time daycare in urban areas, but more than part-time care or a nanny share. The exact cost depends on your region and the agency you choose.
Daily responsibilities and work schedule
An au pair's main job is childcare — picking up children from school, preparing meals, helping with homework, and supervising playtime. The specific duties depend on your family's needs and what you agree to in writing before the au pair arrives. Some families need full-time care for young children; others need after-school supervision for older kids. You and the au pair should discuss this clearly during the matching process.
The legal maximum is 45 hours per week of childcare work. This is a hard limit set by the State Department. If you need more than 45 hours, you cannot ask the au pair to provide it — you would need to hire additional childcare or adjust your schedule. Most au pairs work 10 to 12 hours per day, 5 days per week, which leaves them time for their required cultural activity and personal time.
You must give the au pair at least one full day off per week and one evening off per week. These are program requirements, not suggestions. The au pair also needs time to attend their cultural activity, which typically takes 3 to 5 hours per week. If you are not comfortable with these boundaries, hosting an au pair is not the right fit for your family.
What to expect during the matching and arrival process
Once you sign up with a program, you will receive profiles of au pairs who are interested in your family. These profiles include photos, a brief biography, childcare experience, and language skills. You can review multiple profiles and request interviews (usually by video call) with candidates you are interested in. The au pair also reviews your family profile and can decline if they are not interested.
The matching process typically takes 2 to 4 months, depending on how selective you are and how many au pairs are available through your program. Once you and an au pair agree to work together, the program begins the visa sponsorship process. This includes background checks, medical exams, and SEVIS registration. The entire process from matching to arrival usually takes 3 to 6 months.
When the au pair arrives, most programs offer an orientation period where the au pair meets your family, learns your household routines, and gets settled. Some programs also offer a "trial period" of a few weeks where either you or the au pair can request a rematch if the fit is not right. After that, you are committed to the arrangement for the full year, though the program can help facilitate a rematch if serious problems arise.
Housing, privacy, and household integration
The au pair must have a private bedroom with a lock on the door and access to a private or shared bathroom. This is not negotiable — it is a program requirement. The bedroom should be furnished with a bed, dresser, and closet space. Some families provide a small desk or chair as well. The au pair is part of your household, but they also need their own space to rest and have privacy.
You should discuss household rules before the au pair arrives — things like quiet hours, guest policies, use of the kitchen, and laundry routines. Different cultures have different expectations about these things, so being clear upfront prevents misunderstandings. Most families find it helpful to have a written agreement about daily routines, emergency procedures, and how to handle conflicts.
The au pair is expected to participate in family meals and activities, but they are not a family member — they are an employee living in your home. This distinction matters. You should be friendly and welcoming, but maintain professional boundaries. The au pair should not be expected to babysit for free on their days off, attend family events unpaid, or do housework beyond cleaning up after themselves.
What happens if the arrangement does not work out
If you and the au pair are not a good match, the program can help you find a replacement. This is called a rematch. Most programs allow a rematch within the first few weeks, and some allow it later if there are serious problems. The program will not straightforward end the arrangement — they will work with you to find another au pair or help you exit the program if you decide hosting is not right for you.
If the au pair wants to leave, the program handles that as well. The au pair cannot just quit and stay in the United States — their visa is tied to the program and the host family. If they leave, they must either rematch with another family or return to their home country. This protects you from sudden abandonment, though it also means you have some responsibility for the au pair's wellbeing while they are in your home.
Serious problems — such as abuse, theft, or violation of visa rules — are reported to the program and can result in the au pair being sent home and the family being removed from the program. The program takes these situations seriously because they affect the reputation of the entire exchange program.
Comparing au pair hosting to other childcare options
An au pair is one of several childcare options, each with different costs and trade-offs. Daycare centers typically cost $12,000 to $20,000 per year depending on the child's age and your location. A nanny costs $30,000 to $50,000 per year plus taxes and benefits. An au pair costs $20,000 to $25,000 per year and includes housing and meals, so the out-of-pocket cost is lower than a nanny but comparable to or slightly higher than daycare.
The main advantage of an au pair is flexibility and live-in availability. An au pair can work early mornings, late evenings, and some weekends. A daycare center has fixed hours. A nanny is more flexible than daycare but costs significantly more. An au pair also provides cultural exchange and language exposure for your children, which some families value.
The main disadvantage is that you are responsible for housing and managing a live-in employee. If the arrangement does not work, you cannot straightforward stop using a service — you have to go through a rematch process. An au pair also requires more of your time upfront for matching, orientation, and ongoing communication about household expectations.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to pay taxes on the au pair's stipend?
Yes. The au pair's weekly stipend is taxable income to them, and you are responsible for withholding taxes and paying employer taxes. The program will provide guidance on this, and many families use a payroll service to handle it. The au pair will receive a W-2 at the end of the year.
Can the au pair travel or take time off?
Yes, but you must agree on this in advance. Most au pairs take a week or two of vacation during their year, and you should plan for this. The au pair is still paid their stipend during vacation time. They can also travel on their days off, but they must return for their scheduled work days.
What if the au pair gets sick or injured?
The program provides health insurance for the au pair, which covers medical care. You are not responsible for paying medical bills. If the au pair is too sick to work, you will need backup childcare, just as you would if a daycare closed or a nanny called in sick.
Can I ask the au pair to do housework or laundry for the whole family?
No. The au pair's job is childcare, not housekeeping. They can clean up after themselves and help with dishes or laundry related to the children, but they should not be expected to do the family's laundry or deep clean the house. Asking them to do this violates program rules and can result in a rematch.
What if I want to extend beyond one year?
Most au pairs can extend for a second year if both you and the au pair agree. The program will handle the visa extension and any necessary paperwork. Some au pairs extend for a third year, though this is less common. Extensions are not automatic — you and the au pair must both want to continue.